Confessions from the Heart

“I would like to go home now,” Ugochi muttered, almost out of breath.
She attempted to stand up but Chimaobi held her back.
“You can’t help it, you are a red blooded female not something else,” he whispered in her ears.
“I wish I could help it. Now I know it is beyond my willpower, I have to find another way round it.”
She managed to extricate from his grasp. She got up and stood at akimbo, staring into space.
What am I doing? She asked herself. Am I not a Christian? What will Father say if he knows what I’ve done?
She was still in that state of confusion and guilt when Chimaobi walked up to her. He stood facing her. Both of them began looking at each other in a different way from before.
“Ugochi…” he started.
“Chimaobi, I am not happy with the way today is going. I did not expect this.” She sounded very hurt.
“I’m really sorry. I did not expect things to turn out this way. I have always wanted to be close to you but being with you, I can’t control myself” he said in a voice husky with emotions.
“You’ve seen me only twice, today making it three times,” Ugochi said, shocked that he felt the same way as she did.
“I have seen you a lot more than that. You captivated me from the first day I laid my eyes on you. You are beautiful and graceful. Every time I came to your house was just to see you but you were always locked up somewhere or not in the house. When I found out you had selected days to do the cooking, I seized it as an opportunity to sneak in through the kitchen to see you. You are different and special. I respect and admire you a lot.” Chimaobi’s speech delighted Ugochi in every way but she felt he was rushing things.
“Why are you telling me all these?” She asked for she was still in a state of disbelief that he did have intimate feelings for her.
“I can’t go on deceiving myself. This is the truth. You are such a lovely person to know and to be friends with. But there’s this feeling I have for you which I cannot describe. This feeling keeps me thinking about you.”
Ugochi had never heard such sweet words. The moment he moved closer to her and held her close to him, she found herself saying, “I feel ashamed to say this but I feel the same way that you do. To me, this is more than a crush.”
Once more he kissed her, to this kiss she responded fully.

It was that evening she wrote the poem “No More Pretence”.

Chimaobi dropped her off by 7p.m. leaving her a different Ugochi from the one who left home. Everyone at home wanted to know how the outing was.
“How was the outing?”
“Which joint did he take you to?”
“Did he spend on you?”
“Was he nice to you?”
So many questions were asked and Ugochi answered them. Everyone seemed to be delighted that she accepted his offer for outing. They all encouraged such outings to become frequent.

“You need such outings more often,” her mother said. “It makes your eyes sparkle and your face glow.”
“But you should not get yourself too involved with this Chimaobi of a boy,” her father warned. “Let the relationship be like brothers and sisters. Anyway, of all my daughters, it’s you I trust the most so I’m not worried. I know you won’t start thinking like your sisters”.

While this brought up another discussion, Ugochi was left to ponder on what her father had said. In not too many words, he did not want Chimaobi to be her boyfriend. Of course, she could not expect anybody to be in support of her relationship with her next-door neighbor. And as a Christian, the thought of being intimate with him was out of the question. But then there was a bond between the both of them which she could feel. She only wondered where this bond would lead them to.